gironsolando's Xanga

in london...

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 23:41:01 GMT

Doris Salcedo's Shibboleth

a shibboleth is a word used as a test for detcting people from another district or country by their pronunciation (a sound very difficult for foreigners to pronounce)... coming from the episode in the Book of Judges when the Ephraimites were stopped by the Gileadites in their attempt to flee across the river Jordan. As their dialect didn't include the sound "sh", those who could not say the word "shibboleth" were captured and killed.

SHIBBOLETH:

i could not get over the quantity of screaming messages Salcedo's work evoked.....
shibboleth - token of power, the power to judge, refuse and kill.
history of racism...running as a crack in our history - and as a permanent marker of "modernity", in the foundation of Tate Modern's cement....

and the anti war protest, in front of parliament

"It's not about cost-cutting"

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 23:37:19 GMT

I find the above statement horrendously comical........

In fact, I couldn't stop laughing when I read it. I was sitting in my sun-filled office reading the training material for this new activity-recording program (includes: activity recording, balanced scorecard and monthly workload report) and I nearly fell off my chair.....

The blatant contradiction coupled with an apparent seriousness around me dissipated my laughter... My grin turned into a puzzled + shocked stare: I am flabbergasted at this theatre of bureaucratic diplomacy. Saddened by my dual-role as spectator and actress in this all …

"It's not about cost-cutting"

“The recording tells us what proportion of our global resources we spend on different types of activity; highlights posts' workloads and resourcing needs and identifies areas of best practice. The data on the amount of time staff spend each day against each activity is aggregated into post and monthly totals for use in reporting.”

“Ultimately, better management information is crucial

if we're to build a sustainable service for the future.”

".... We need grades of staff so we can calculate costs..."

It is not the intention of ------- to check up on the hours that you work.

It can help to think of your day in 15 minute chunks and note the main thing you've been working on in each 15 minute period.

Don't worry about minor interruptions (a minute or two).

Be as accurate as you can - within reason - but at least to the nearest 15 minutes.

Do not guess at numbers.

The aim is that all of us..... are able to make better decisions about resources and priorities based on meaningful and fair information.

So, dear friends… off I go – to begin a new week at work.

… Every 15 minutes I write down what I’ve done… I check the “code” that my activity is categorized as and I “record” my time…. Thanking that marvelous program for its flexibility (minor interruptions of a minute or two are allowed, phew!) and feeling like a very valuable HUMAN BEING in a paper machine that is not motivated by ‘cost cutting’ in the least… !!!!!!!!

Monday, June 04, 2007

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 21:04:20 GMT

so i've thought of more than 10 things that i could write....

I think I've thought about writing for more than a couple of weeks...

and I think I've thought about how if I had a chance to write here any time i wasn't on a computer i'd be writing all the time...

so that's a lot of thinking for a lot of 'blank' time. !! Oh well... a month has passed - humm...and my deep thought of the day is simply that i'm glad writing exists.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 20:53:53 GMT

90 million EUROS per MONTH goes into the prostitution business here.

“ I just can’t get used to life!!!”

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 20:32:31 GMT

“People who try to hold on to their individuality end up badly”

"If you got worried about everything there is to worry about, you wouldn’t be able to live.”

“life is an absurd business”

“awake or asleep, it’s all the same”

---------- Eugene Ionesco, Rhinoceros

So why am I so utterly enthralled with theatre of the absurd? I saw the play was showing - jumped on the occasion and last minute decided to go.

I think I love it because I fall for it, every time, and then figure it out - I'm the perfect spectator...sort of like being the best person to plan a surprise for. I inevitably become part of that audience that I feel the playwright wanted - I feel I could BE "the masses" the hours I watch Ionesco's plays.

It all begins with a simple fact – the rediculity of a human becoming an animal, of a whole town becoming an animal. Silly, funny, presumptious, ABSURD. But then, everyone becomes a rhinoceros…even the most skeptic, and the logician grow horns, harden their skin, snort and run...the stampede grows destructive. Until beauty, thought, logic, value, morals - everything is defined by THEM.

Humm.... I walked out of the play with the sting of that slap in my face and a million questions: who defines "being human"?

s t o r i e s s s s s s s s s sssss

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 09:38:02 GMT

I feel like in a small way I encounter different worlds every day...It is beautiful to "listen" to women's narration - my afternoons have been filled with story telling...in parks, train stations, bus stops, random streets (my IDLO work takes me out and about - I have to meet the end goal of 50 interviews by June).

Sometimes I have to remind myself that every story is new and fresh and different. Why? because I hear the same things, over and over again... My mind runs wild with the absurdity of how similar these stories are, coming from opposite corners of the world - and yet containing similar elements in the plot:

a young woman traveling far, leaving her family, university degree, promising career to become a domestic worker earning 800 euros a month, sending money home to invest in her children's education and her family's well being... hopes and dreams soured by the difficulties of language, loneliness, separation and distance...struggling to retain that dignity as a "service worker" for rich families - swallowing the skills and creativity acquired and doing the hard, back breaking, sweaty work.

I approach so many different people...some are hostile and don't want to speak - others are open and start narrating, in haphazard segments, their life story...

In some ways it seems like these women are the hidden faces of the global economic chaos of the "have" and "have nots".

Yesterday I met a woman from Peru with a youthful smile and a beautiful name - I told her I would tuck it away in my memory if ever I had to choose a name for someone...and she told me no - she would never wish her life on anyone.

Parentless at the age of 3 she was forced to live with an unloving aunt. Her childhood was nothing but pleasant...And niether was her marriage to a well-to-do man from the capital.

So she left.

She paid the $ 5,000 it takes to get to Italy, leaving her 10 year old son, and worked herself out of her debt from the voyage. After seven years of cleaning and babysitting, she managed to bring her son. The sweetness of the reunion was mixed with the intensity of emotions: bitterness, depression, anger, hopelessness... The boy was angry for having grown up without his mother, she was worn out ...exhausted...what did the life of sacrifice she had lived lead to?

I listen to her speak of the money and packages she sends her son's brother...of what she has left behind, of what she has and doesn't have here.

I have no regrets, she says.

She smiles...then says with conviction: money is NOTHING. It is useless and senseless.

If you think I look youthful, it's only because I found that out. If you saw me 20 years ago you would say I looked twice my age...now you say quite the contrary and it's because I am content INSIDE.

I would name someone after you, I say.

We exchange phone numbers. Let me know if there's anything you need, she tells me, and I'll help you.

I'm debating... should I break the silence?

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 22:20:51 GMT

There are a lot of emotions in calcio..

And not just emotion - there's politics, there's media, there's dirty circles of money, there's corruption, absurdity, there's so much more...

But let me just indulge in that emotion....the intensity tonight was almost palpitable...and I can't explain WHY - there's this undebated dedication to my city's soccer team that runs in my blood... So I lived the torture of the game tonight...tense, frustrated, apalled, incredulous, disappointed, proud, undettered...

But then of course I put my Rome soccer scarf on and smile: good thing I don't put my enitre existence into this game, or I would be crushed right now. My heart's in it (or it's in my heart??), that's undeniable.

it's a sport and I recognize it as such in all its discrepencies (!) .... and so I let go and sit back and let things sink in perspective.

But I'll keep the "giallo rosso" on and sing "roma bella roma...core de sta' citta'" ....

In my judgement, some good balanced comments (for those who read Italian):

Mister Spalletti
Vorrei fare prima di tutti i complimenti ai miei giocatori che ci hanno portato a vivere questa situazione bellissima. Il Manchester era in grande condizione, ogni volta che calciavano hanno travato gli angoli liberi, loro hanno giocato fino alla fine e noi abbiamo sbagliato qualcosa. Abbiamo perso alcuni giocatori come Perrotta, Taddei e Tonetto che danno un contributo importante sotto l’aspetto della corsa e fisicità se vogliamo fare un’analisi obiettiva questa è una delle nostre caratteristiche principali che è venuta a mancare. È corretto quello che ha fatto il Manchester se la sono giocata fino alla fine, mi dispiace per il nostro pubblico che ci ha seguito fin qui e che ci ha sostenuto, mi dispiace perché si esce da una competizione importantissima come la Champions. Mi sarebbe piaciuto comunicare con la squadra prima della fine del primo tempo, perché soprattutto dopo il secondo gol ci siamo aperti e disuniti e gli abbiamo dato la possibilità di sfruttare le loro qualità.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Sat, 07 Apr 2007 17:49:58 GMT

Yesterday's walk...

Today's walk...

there's nothing like looking at a peak from below (the second from the left)

then getting there after a strenous hike...and seeing it all from above

Exhilerating ... Sometimes I wonder how to "soak in beauty" - I feel like I am saturated to the brim and incapable of witholding it...I need some other means of 'letting it in' ...that's when "breathtaking" becomes literal (that's also when I wish I could write a story, play a tune, sculpt something - find some form of expression to nudge me out of my paralysis!!). It reminded me of a place in Honduras - I felt like I could die the next day and I would have seen enough...

Cari amici...auguri per pasqua...

Wisdom 2: 1-23 and an incomplete thought

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 20:46:35 GMT

1: they who said among themselves, thinking not aright: "Brief and troublous is our lifetime; neither is there any remedy for man's dying, nor is anyone known to have come back from the nether world.
2: For haphazard were we born, and hereafter we shall be as though we had not been; Because the breath in our nostrils is a smoke and reason is a spark at the beating of our hearts,
3: And when this is quenched, our body will be ashes and our spirit will be poured abroad like unresisting air.
4: Even our name will be forgotten in time, and no one will recall our deeds. So our life will pass away like the traces of a cloud, and will be dispersed like a mist pursued by the sun's rays and overpowered by its heat.
5: For our lifetime is the passing of a shadow; and our dying cannot be deferred because it is fixed with a seal; and no one returns.
6: Come, therefore, let us enjoy the good things that are real, and use the freshness of creation avidly.
7: Let us have our fill of costly wine and perfumes, and let no springtime blossom pass us by;
8: let us crown ourselves with rosebuds ere they wither.
9: Let no meadow be free from our wantonness; everywhere let us leave tokens of our rejoicing, for this our portion is, and this our lot.
10: Let us oppress the needy just man; let us neither spare the widow nor revere the old man for his hair grown white with time.
11: But let our strength be our norm of justice; for weakness proves itself useless.
12: Let us beset the just one, because he is obnoxious to us; he sets himself against our doings, Reproaches us for transgressions of the law and charges us with violations of our training.
13: He professes to have knowledge of God and styles himself a child of the LORD.
14: To us he is the censure of our thoughts; merely to see him is a hardship for us,
15: Because his life is not like other men's, and different are his ways.
16: He judges us debased; he holds aloof from our paths as from things impure. He calls blest the destiny of the just and boasts that God is his Father.
17 Let us see whether his words be true; let us find out what will happen to him.
18: For if the just one be the son of God, he will defend him and deliver him from the hand of his foes.
19: With revilement and torture let us put him to the test that we may have proof of his gentleness and try his patience.
20: Let us condemn him to a shameful death; for according to his own words, God will take care of him."
21: These were their thoughts, but they erred; for their wickedness blinded them,
22: And they knew not the hidden counsels of God; neither did they count on a recompense of holiness nor discern the innocent souls' reward.
23: For God formed man to be imperishable; the image of his own nature he made him.

I watched little lambs playing in green meadows today near the aqueduct ruins...I felt I could stare for hours - fascinated by all their movements, sounds, activities... Then a father with his two children rode by on their bikes, and I heard the father discussing what sort of death the little ones would have. Sigh.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 10:13:41 GMT

Slow down everyone
You're moving too fast .....

Without fail, Jack Johnson brings a smile to my face...!!

Any creative ideas of how to constructively use 2.5 - 3 hours a day standing up between hundrends of moving bodies on bus/metro/tram...?? I'm considering a number of options....but my creativity is dying down as I sink into the insanity of commuting for so long every day...